I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
