He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
