I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
