i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
