Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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