I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
last night I used snow as a chaser
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