Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
