i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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