the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
