Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
fuck your aforementioned shoe
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize