Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
