I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
that is very illegal...i love you.
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