Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
