I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
