I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
