I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
