I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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