ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize