those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
