You made me cry and you don't even care
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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