Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
