New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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