Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize