I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
