I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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