just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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