I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
