Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
