this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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