My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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