Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
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