just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
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