Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
where are my eyebrows?
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