The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
