escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
