I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
