went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize