then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
