Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
