1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
