This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
