how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just cropdusted the office
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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