You just made me feel so damn special
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
