Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The uberlube is also flammable
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
