I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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