How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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