Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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