I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize