I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
