his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
