Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize