even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My dick has a subreddit
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
