So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
