She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
