I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
