you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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