i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
