I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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