Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Even my vagina gasped.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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