it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize