i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
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