Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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