You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize