i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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