before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
