Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
