jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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