yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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