Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?

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(805): View more from California

Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.

Fav 7 7865 1246
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(770): View more from Georgia

just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight

Fav 38 4773 1743
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(913): View more from Kansas

sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.

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(410): View more from Maryland

what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!

(1-410): View more from Maryland

the part where you beat me to him

(410): View more from Maryland

fair enough.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable

Fav 8 1615 3649
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.

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(802): View more from Vermont

BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!

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