EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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