Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
