Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Drake has all the answers
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
