We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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