Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Im part way to drunk.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
