Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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